Recently I decided to make an effort … to set a goal … to overcome my issues with my daughter’s death.
Did you hear that?
I said her death. Britt’s death.
For the longest time I only referred to it as “Britt’s accident”.
And it was an accident. A horrible accident.
A single vehicle rollover on the Cajon Pass. My daughter died on the I-15 freeway in Devore.
I didn’t even know where Devore was. I do now.
It was a Tuesday.
I arrived home in the early afternoon and the coroner was waiting for me.
Where is she, I asked.
She didn’t make it, he said.
He knocked the wind out of me.
He took my life away.
She was seventeen years old. Eighteen days short of her eighteenth birthday.
She loved life.
She was happy.
She was vibrant.
She was truly unforgettable and I remember her each and every day.
Every. Single. Day.
The above photo is on her headstone. Our grand kids call it a tombstone.
They think she’s buried in a graveyard.
Too much Halloween at our house.
I wish the grands could have known Britt. Not just through my memories. Or through their father’s memories.
Britt was … is … their father’s baby sister.
Britt had just started college. She was on the cheer squad. She had cheered in high school and worked hard to make the squad in college.
Because she was an athlete, she registered early. She got her first choice of classes.
She was excited. I was excited for her.
She was attending school three days a week. She only cheered at the first two football games of the season. One home game and one away game.
The third game was played in her honor.
Our entire family went to all the games.
We were proud. Very proud.
Neither drinking or drugs were involved the day of Britt’s death, nor any other day in her life.
She wasn’t using a cell phone.
She simply wasn’t paying attention.
She lost control of her car.
The car we had given her for graduation. High school graduation. I wish we hadn’t given it to her.
I’m thankful that no one else was hurt the day Britt died.
Thankful her baby brother Todd wasn’t with her.
Thankful her boyfriend wasn’t driving.
I believe it was Britt’s time. I have faith in God. I have faith that He has a bigger plan for Britt.
Perhaps she was even on borrowed time. She had been beating Myasthenia Gravis since her diagnosis at the age of five.
Britt was a fighter.
Britt was my only daughter.
We were best friends.
There’s music that reminds me of her.
Music that pushes me over the edge.
I avoid this music. I make no exceptions.
I know I will never get over the loss of my daughter.
I never will.
But I will overcome the issues her death has left me with.
And issues I have.
As I said in Reflections, the pain never goes away.
It just changes.
Not for better. Not for worse.
It simply changes.
This is the Britt I remember. Happy. Smiling. Laughing.
Britt loved her brothers. Very, very much.
She loved people.
She loved life.
Britt Leanna Mobley is my daughter. She was born October 17, 1979. Britt died on September 30, 1997. It’s been 14 years. It feels like it was yesterday. I can still hear her voice. I can still feel her touch. I can feel her presence.
If she walked in the door … I would hold her close. I would tell her how much I love her. I would never let go.
All photos are from Britt’s senior portrait session 5 months before her accident death. They may not be used or reproduced without written permission.
Roxanne Mobley says
I don’t remember much about Britt because I was so young, but I do remember how happy she was, how much she smiled and how much I wanted to be just like her.
Kim says
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. I wish I had known her, but I’m blessed to know her through her devoted and amazing mother. You and your family have a very special angel looking out for you.
Debra @ A Frugal Friend says
Such a personal and honest post….thank you for sharing. What you said rings so true with many of us who have lost loved ones unexpectedly….things change over time…not for the better, not for the worse, they simply change. So true.
As you go through this brave journey, please know there are plenty of us here for you to listen, hug, and pray!
Shauna Hostetler says
Thinking of you. This is a beautiful tribute from a wonderful mother to an amazing daughter.
Ruth Odekirk says
You are so dedicated and full of love for your family. Britt will always be remembered for her wonderful spirit and smile. This is a beautiful tribute writing and I hope it gives you peace. Memories are what soothes are hearts, when we are seperated from our loved ones for a while….<3
Briana Johnson says
Oh Cathi I will never ever forget that phone call. I was dating Mike at the time and he had randomly brought me flowers that evening. He was in my apartment with me when the phone rang. I sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably as he held me. A piece of me died that day too. But oh how I LOVE BRITT. She was my champion. She loved me and I loved her, like sisters. I think of her so very often, wondering what sort of souls she is bringing the light of Christ’s gospel to. I am proud of you for taking these steps. So is Britt I guarantee it! Love you dear friend
Vickie Couturier says
What a beautiful an hard post,,my tears flowed for you an your beautiful daughter,,,what a tragic loss,,as a Mother an Grandmother I can feel your pain,this is something no parent should ever have to go through,my heart an prayers are with you sweetie
Beth @ TheAngelForever says
Oh Cathi, I have tears in my eyes and wish I could give you a hug. I know we have Talked about your gorgeous daughter Britt. You are an amazing mother and I can not imagine the strength it took to write that post. A mother’s worst nightmare happened to you and you are a survivor. With this post you will help countless others. Remember no matter the time of day you always have a friend here that is willing to listen. Love you my friend.
JamericanSpice says
My heart goes out to you!
*HUG*
Andrea says
This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. She was an acquaintance in High School, we played softball together years before. For some reason her name came to my head. That is how I came upon this, wonderful tribute. Those pictures capture her beautiful smile that even an acquaintance, could never forget. I wish I could have known her better.
Blessings to her wonderful family.
Grace @ Sandier Pastures says
Oh Cathy! I knew about your Britt when I first read your blog years ago but it’s only now I’ve come across a detailed post about her. My heart is aching for you. I have another blog friend who lost her daughter to car accident and every year, she grieves and I cry. See how it affects other people, what more for you all who are involved? My heart goes out to you but as I was scrolling down, a thought ran through my mind: how lucky you sent her for a photo shoot. You were able to capture Britt’s youth and beauty forever. Hugs to you my friend.
Steven Byrns says
I remember her smile so so well.My name is Steven Byrns and I worked with her at Dennys Lake Elsinor as well went out with her as she drove me to a employees get together I belive at some resturant in murrieta.She was so sweet to me and I remember her driving that nite.I had told her to slow down..She will always be remembered even almost goin on 18 years later